Reflections on 12 years as an artist-teacher...

It has been a LONG minute since my last entry here, but it’s the start of a new school year & opera season, marking my 12th year as a full-time professional singer & voice teacher.  I’ve been thinking a lot lately over the journey so far, so why not write about it?

Twelve years ago I was finishing my master’s degree in Ohio, and I really had no clear path forward.  I had auditioned for (and not been accepted to) an artist diploma program, which was a bummer.  I had plenty of experience with rejection on the audition front by that point, but aside from my first go-round of grad school auditions (also didn’t get accepted to voice programs that time), this was only the 2nd time I had not been able to move forward in an academic setting.  As a lifelong high-achieving student, and someone who always prided myself on excelling at school, this was a tough pill to swallow.  I had been truly blessed by a wonderful grad school experience: wonderful leading roles in operas, a fantastic group of fellow grad students/friends, an amazing learning environment with some of the best professors you could hope for (including one of the greatest vocal coaches I have ever had the privilege of working with), and a wonderful supportive place to continue my growth as an artist.  I was also lucky to have a fantastic set of “Ohio parents” who welcomed me to this new town, instantly made me feel like part of the family, hosted my folks when they visited...just great people who I knew I would miss upon leaving.  

But here it was: graduation was approaching, and I didn’t know where I’d be or what I’d be doing.  Should I move to New York and dive into the opera audition/gig life while getting some sort of “Muggle job”?  Should I move back home?  The New York plan seemed a bit far-fetched, given that I hadn’t really saved up money for such a move, had no leads on a place to live or a job, and didn’t know much of the city beyond what I had seen in audition trips.  I felt like I could do it, maybe, but it was a scary prospect, felt TERRIBLY impractical, and was a huge risk in every way.  A late-night IM conversation with my sister proved to be the deciding factor: she had a house, a spare bedroom, and said I could move in with her.  And that was that: I had a plan forward, moving to Austin, but still no job or anything else lined up.  

After some summer road-tripping to visit family (with my car packed to the roof with everything I owned), I ended up back in Texas with a place to live, a church choir to join, and some other friends in town.  And nothing else.  I knew that some school districts brought in voice teachers to do lessons, so I emailed around, got 1 reply that directed me toward my first interview (a school I still teach at today), which led to a second (at the other school I still teach at), and began building a voice studio.  Shortly afterward, I also had my first audition for Austin Opera, met some fellow singers/teachers who are still my good friends, and began to settle into the professional life that I’ve maintained these past twelve years.  

You never know if a big decision will be right or not until after the fact, which is why it’s so hard to make them!  Luckily, making the move to Austin has turned out so much better than I could have imagined.  I’ve had some amazing performing opportunities, both locally and around the country, I’ve been able to build a voice studio working with some incredible students and colleagues, and I’ve got a great network of friends, both new and old.  There are, of course, frustrations, ups and downs, and moments of self-doubt.  I’ve had moments when I have thought about chucking the whole teacher/artist life and getting an office job.  I do sometimes wonder what might have happened if I had taken that huge risk and moved to New York instead.  That internal questioning is normal for everyone, I know.  But when I look back on these twelve years of life and work, my takeaways are absolutely positive.  The overall feeling I have is one of gratitude.  I’m so grateful for my friends (especially the ones who feel like they have always been a part of my life, no matter when we met), for the opportunities and performances I’ve had in my professional singer life, for my colleagues at the schools where I teach, for the small army of amazing students I have taught over the years, and for the life I’ve been able to build here.  And most of all, I am thankful that God has continued to guide me into the right places at the right times–none of this would be possible without Him.  

This year promises to be a busy one, and with a schedule much like any other.  I’ll be juggling opera performances, choral concerts, rehearsals, church choir, my teaching schedule, and hanging out with friends.  I’ll be gardening, playing D&D, and doing book club.  The big goal this year is finding more balance in being busy.  Anyone reading this who knows me knows that I’m not great at saying no to gigs or opportunities, even if it makes my life crazy.  During the school year, whenever I’m not teaching or performing, my general state of existence is, “I can’t, I have rehearsal...”  I’m going to be working on that.  But all in all, it has been quite an amazing ride these past twelve years, and I can’t wait to see what lies ahead!